my sister's cancer

 My sister's cancer has spread very far.. now it is up into her lungs and as well is pressing the bottom of her stomach closed. Unable to eat or even drink water as the tumor keeps her stomach from emptying. A several day delay for getting the part.. a shunt to keep open her stomach.. and then the emergency surgery to put it in. 

 None of the pain medications work.. at all. She won't take them any more as she wants to be able to be coherent during those few moments she is awake. After surgery she went to a hospice in Madison, WI.. almost 3 hours away.

 We picked up our daughter last weekend when my sister went into the hospital. Our daughter went to spend a week at my sister's over the summer, my sister asked her to stay longer. Our daughter took over preparing the juices and making the foods for her (Gerson diet). Our daughter insisted on doing this.. and it is no small task to prepare specific juices on a timed schedule ALL day long. It involved countless hours of scrubbing produce, chopping, setting up the hydraulic press juicer, then cleaning it after each use. Each juice had to be made right before being consumed and could not be made ahead of time. 

 While the juicing helped, my sister's cancer was too far spread to do anything but try to slow it down and buy what ever little time possible. Our daughter started the school season out there. She tried to keep up as best as she could, but my sister at this time was being worn down quickly and often slept at irregular intervals. 

 The pain is overwhelming her. She had a procedure done that kills off nerve bundles, a last ditch effort for at least a minimal amount of relief.. and not an option for anyone with even a remote chance at survival.

 While we didn't exactly consent to her staying at my sister's longer than a week.. you find yourself unable to say No. Family dynamics alone make the whole interaction thing among us.. strained. 

 Meanwhile.. we (my husband, my daughter, and I) are only getting updates 2nd hand. Before that we would get updates from our daughter, as my brother-in-law also rarely contacted any of us. I sent vegetables to her just picked from the garden, but she was too busy to ever find the time to schedule me in for a visit or even return a call. That would be the whole family dynamic thing kicking in.

 I just find it very sad but there is nothing I can do about it even though I still try. In the next few days I will be going with my Mom to go see my sister. My car is not currently trustworthy enough to venture out very far, especially without a cell phone.

 My BIL's ex-wife has managed to add a heaping load of Jerry Springer like insanity ever since she popped in.. uninvited.. to their wedding. Oh.. she's a piece of work. 

 Steve Jobs had the same cancer as my sister. Even with all of his resources he couldn't deny it's progression. When he passed, my sister was devastated.. because to her, he represented hope.


 I don't think my sister will make it to Halloween, but still we try to hope and admittedly cling to denial.