my sister's cancer

 My sister's cancer has spread very far.. now it is up into her lungs and as well is pressing the bottom of her stomach closed. Unable to eat or even drink water as the tumor keeps her stomach from emptying. A several day delay for getting the part.. a shunt to keep open her stomach.. and then the emergency surgery to put it in. 

 None of the pain medications work.. at all. She won't take them any more as she wants to be able to be coherent during those few moments she is awake. After surgery she went to a hospice in Madison, WI.. almost 3 hours away.

 We picked up our daughter last weekend when my sister went into the hospital. Our daughter went to spend a week at my sister's over the summer, my sister asked her to stay longer. Our daughter took over preparing the juices and making the foods for her (Gerson diet). Our daughter insisted on doing this.. and it is no small task to prepare specific juices on a timed schedule ALL day long. It involved countless hours of scrubbing produce, chopping, setting up the hydraulic press juicer, then cleaning it after each use. Each juice had to be made right before being consumed and could not be made ahead of time. 

 While the juicing helped, my sister's cancer was too far spread to do anything but try to slow it down and buy what ever little time possible. Our daughter started the school season out there. She tried to keep up as best as she could, but my sister at this time was being worn down quickly and often slept at irregular intervals. 

 The pain is overwhelming her. She had a procedure done that kills off nerve bundles, a last ditch effort for at least a minimal amount of relief.. and not an option for anyone with even a remote chance at survival.

 While we didn't exactly consent to her staying at my sister's longer than a week.. you find yourself unable to say No. Family dynamics alone make the whole interaction thing among us.. strained. 

 Meanwhile.. we (my husband, my daughter, and I) are only getting updates 2nd hand. Before that we would get updates from our daughter, as my brother-in-law also rarely contacted any of us. I sent vegetables to her just picked from the garden, but she was too busy to ever find the time to schedule me in for a visit or even return a call. That would be the whole family dynamic thing kicking in.

 I just find it very sad but there is nothing I can do about it even though I still try. In the next few days I will be going with my Mom to go see my sister. My car is not currently trustworthy enough to venture out very far, especially without a cell phone.

 My BIL's ex-wife has managed to add a heaping load of Jerry Springer like insanity ever since she popped in.. uninvited.. to their wedding. Oh.. she's a piece of work. 

 Steve Jobs had the same cancer as my sister. Even with all of his resources he couldn't deny it's progression. When he passed, my sister was devastated.. because to her, he represented hope.


 I don't think my sister will make it to Halloween, but still we try to hope and admittedly cling to denial.



 

bird free bathing resumes

 Chickens have been moved out to their temporary pen. The keets paved the way to the waterer and food trough. The bravest of the lot is a little barred rock roo. 

 The buffalo gnats were and are intense, so I put up some shade cloth to create a more bug proof area. The birds are quick to snap up a gnat on a light colored buddy, but the dark ones are not so lucky as the gnats are hard to see on them (and the gnats quickly wiggle in to their feathers to feast... my poor chicks!) We put a box fan out before the converted doghouse coop, so they can escape the bugs. So far it seems to be working. 

 I spent last night awake, the whole night.. checking on the birds frequently. I got bit by a gnat on the eyelid and it has swollen almost shut. My husband got bit on the lip and it swelled huge too. All that is missing is my daughter getting bit on the ear and we are the "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" trio.

 The birds are a bit more freaked out about... grass. If you have ever seen a baby's first barefoot experience in grass, you know exactly what these birds are going through. They also are brave when we are near by, but race back to the coop should we step away.  

 The keets discovered their voices and stand in the grass complaining, then someone finds a bug and the race is on. One will pick a bit of grass and the chase begins.. through all the grass.. just to get the 1 blade in the mouth of another.

 Still the keet jockeys insist on a ride and the pecking order is still being figured out. We have a lot of roosters. A lot. You get the same ones facing off all the time.. yet at night they are snuggled next to their sparring partner. The chicken jockeys.. are mostly hens (judging from their significantly smaller crowns and the fact that they aren't the ones squabbling). They go for a ride, get unceremoniously dumped, then go drown their sorrows of rejection in the feed trough.

 I watched the sun set last night, and the sun rise this morning.. but what I am really going to enjoy right now is a shower sans poultry. No more ninja keet poop to worry about from Kate the white keet (who likes to sneak out when you are in the shower.. leave you a present.. then hop back in the box.) Our toothbrushes can now go back to that bathroom as I scrubbed every inch of the room. No more need to check behind the toilet paper for a keet. We can use the toilet in peace as the cheer leading chicks have been removed (even though they are only birds.. and not very bright ones.. it is still unsettling when every time you drop your pants, reach for toilet paper, "make a sound", remove clothing to get into the shower... they all freak out. They do this with everyone, but still it is hard to not take it personally when your nakedness just inspired chaos and panic in 3 dozen birds.)

 I will probably spend the night there again chicken sitting. I may do that a lot until the real coop is built. I really hope the gnats go away soon as it is supposed to get into the 90's again and weeding with a bug burqa is hellish.

 We've also been dealing with the discovery that our place in CO was trashed and many things were stolen by "the jerk". He took the washer and dryer and a lot of other things. Still struggling with that situation which wastes so much of our time. Our home will be set up for a short sale and our amazing friends are truly a blessing as they volunteered to do what they can to clean the place up.

 Our daughter is going to my sister's to help her with the juicing. Scrubbing the veggies and juicing them is a lot of work and it has to be done pretty much every hour in certain combinations. While it does have a significant impact, she unfortunately needs a miracle due to the advanced stage. It has gotten very aggressive, and the delay the doctors, insurance, etc. completely screwed her over. Her oncologist is going on vacation... again. Limited options who she can go to.. but this jerk off needs to switch careers because these antics have fatal results. 

 For now my sister is doing all she can. My daughter is excited and proud to help on the front lines with this war on cancer. My daughter is also realizing how important it is to eat the right food, but mostly she cherishes every second with my sister. My kid is amazing and I am very proud. Her goofy self is distracting in a good way.. always jokes, always some odd pondering, always a vat full of odd facts. She takes the focus off the cloud of cancer and my sister laughs and for the moment it is just a normal day with the enjoyment of good company. 

 One day at a time.. one foot in front of the other.. and not taking what I do have "right now" for granted, no matter how trivial. 

Peeps out.  :)