Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Rough Day

 Just one of those rough days today where my health directly prohibits me from trying to tackle my to do list. It's really hard to be focused or even positive.

 Oh Acme Anvil... where are you when I need you? 

 I gathered a few more seeds, tried doing some weeding, made an attempt to turn the compost. 

Today I just can't quite ignore the pain or the internal chaos long enough to get much done. It is a fight just to keep myself together enough to not cry and be able take care of my daughter. I hurt and feel so ill that it is hard to think of anything else.

  Really hard not to be bitter. I don't think I can avoid it right now.. especially when it seems so unfair that the "prime" years most of my 20's and all of my 30's have been lost to unhealth... especially when it could have been avoided if only I had help. 

 Anyways... life goes on.



  1. /comfort

    The slash is an online gamer sign for a motion btw.

    If it makes ya smile I will tell you that the cat left me a dead rodent under my bed the other night. I found it whole when it got a bit smelly this morning. She has also taken to stalking my feet in the garden under the tomato plants.

    I am going to have to figure something out about this dead rodent delivery fetish she has thats for sure.

    Hope you get to feeling better hon.

  2. I am sorry for your losses to unhealth. Have you consulted an alternative health specialist such as a nutritionist specializing in organic holistic methods?

  3. @ Pioneer.. LMAO.. ok fess up.. which one do you play? WoW? LoTR? Runescape?

    @ AJK I wish. Irony is selecting a job over another because it has better benefits.. only for the benefits to kick in just in time for the company to scale back and change what it offers. Then paycuts and yet another change in insurance to where even basic coverage takes a big chunk out of the paycheck and now puts getting medical attention out of range with a large deductible.

    We are stuck in a gray area because of a trust set up for my daughter from my Father's estate. Even though we can not access the investments it puts us in a range where we don't qualify for help, yet can not afford to help ourselves. (spent many many thousands to get responses of "idiopathic" only for guidelines to change later in which I could have gotten the right treatment.)

    Here's the kicker... when my Dad passed, over 2 million was paid in just federal taxes. (bad lawyer who drew up the will... my Dad was a doctor and not business savvy.) Our family has shelled out so much in taxes that it is obscene, and we all would have been better off if the money spent on taxes went towards our own health care... as we would still have plenty left over.

    Sorry.. ranting.. the whole thing makes me want to bang my head into a wall. It's just wrong when you'd be better off mooching than trying to do the right thing and stand on your own 2 feet. Yet still we try.