Sunday, April 18, 2010

Oh no... wife aggro

So every time the neighbor's wife drives him crazy, he talks my husband into disc golfing. That's about as hard as talking an addict into doing something 1 more time. His wife drives him crazy on a regular basis. Knowing the woman.. I can say a bakery or dandruff convention is less flaky than she is.
He has now put himself in jeopardy of WOA (wrath of Anne). I need to get out... I NEED OUT NOW!! I need a change of scenery. Bali... Bali sounds good. Mellow people... no ching ching ching of freakin' disc golf baskets to be heard. Gimme a hand of bananas.. being attacked by the monkeys in Ubud might just be the diversion I need right now.
My husband was supposed to fence up one of my gardens this weekend. Actually it was supposed to have been done a few weekends ago, and he promised this weekend, but the neighbor called... I figured yesterday, no biggie... he will do it Sunday. He played poker until the wee hours of the night, so I let him sleep in until 11am.
Well.. the dog pranced through the garden trying to protect us from the fence dwellers... and destroyed my cold crops.
Now, gardening in CO is not like say... almost anywhere else. Arid, super sweet soil, even the water clinks coming out of the tap. So when you compost like mad, and amend the soil religiously, one watering because of a dry spell and the ph just goes to crap. I would have an easier time making ice cubes in hell.
So as I kiss another crop goodbye and resign myself to having just warm weather crops to look forward to, along with the inevitable hail storms that will pummel the crap out of them...
Meanwhile I am breaking out the blender. Electric lemonade sounds really good about now.
Must... not... comment... on... facebook. I really would love to leave her a comment like "WTH woman! Every time you drive your husband nuts and make him feel the need to get the heck away from you, he drags my husband out because he needs a buddy. Which so far is almost every day."
I swear... the man is like a teenage girl going to the bathroom... someone is coming with because going alone is not an option.
So when he finally wanders home... WOA may be in full force. I may just spell it out as to why I am pissed... puppets may even be involved so as to completely get my rage. Or... I may just make him guess repeatedly.
In another lifetime I would have gone shopping for outfits for the spontaneous trip I desperately need to take.
I wonder what would be needed to get citizenship in Bali. Or maybe Palau...


  1. Bali and Palau, from my research, are not as much fun as we might think. Most of the islands are pretty buggy and on many of them gardening is as hard as it is in Colorado. Even the Marquesas, where the fruit ripens year round (once had a population of over 100,000 -- pre-smallpox, of course) is not much for vegs, and there is a small biting fly, called the no-no, for which the place is famous. Sigh! ... might as well get good at our ice cubes, neh? ;)

  2. I've been to Bali. Wandered around there a bit and we were adopted by quite a few people who let us into their homes and shared meals. It isn't as buggy as Venezuela, or even IL in the summer with all those mosquitoes.

    We got to help pick from family gardens, I passed on the offer to be taken out to the rice paddies to hunt eels. Lush.. is an understatement. The air is hot and humid making it almost impossible to dry wet clothes, but those same conditions make for an intensely green surrounding.

    There is a section of beach in Jimbaran Bay where they have cooking shacks lined up. Family operated, even supplied. Literally the ones fishing bring their catch right to their cook shack. You can pick out what you want to eat and they will make it (the seafood is still alive). The grills are fueled by dried coconut husks.. and the food.. amazing.

    Bali is, without a doubt, my favorite place on the planet. Not just the surroundings, but the people especially make it magical.

    No other country I have been to have I ever encountered so many good souls. If I could live there, I would.. in an instant!

  3. BTW.. gardening in Colorado is dependent on location (there are some good spots.. most are on the west side of the mountain range). Near Denver, it is a challenge to say the least. Unique geographical location makes this area a mini tornado alley.. hail galore. With very high ph in the soil, plus the ph from the tap at 8, and scarce precipitation (we only got 1/10th an inch for the whole of September.. annual total is about 12 to 14 inches).. it isn't impossible, but expensive. Fruit trees get nailed by the late freak snow storms and need to be irrigated to survive. Even with major water conservation and water reclamation efforts just my small gardens run up a water bill over $100 a month... easily (and we do not water the lawn).

    Not impossible to garden here.. just a LOT of challenges. If anything were to happen and things got crazy.. lack of water would turn this place into a powder keg of insanity instantly. You'd need a large piece of land (with water rights) to be successful at self sufficiency.

    I offset the water cost by trading with friends as otherwise this would be too expensive for me to do.